Citizens United Against Citizens United


“While American democracy is imperfect, few outside the majority of this Court have thought its flaws included a dearth of corporate money in politics.”-Justice John Paul Stevens

Martha guided the vacuum over a safety pin,
Performing its function
The device inhaled the pin.
As the pin skipped about,
A rattling ensued. Martha turned off the vacuum,
Disrupting its purpose
To grab filth into a pit
Like the hand of Satan
Leading a soul to Hell.

She took a step away from the device
Shouted for her husband.
He sighed.
“Yes, dear?”
“I did it again.” She replied.
Jim was distracted by the television.
A news story was showing
About recent poll numbers
Regarding upcoming elections.
“Did what?” He responded after a few seconds.
“I vacuumed up something that broke the damn thing.”
“Broke what?”
She rolled her eyes, commented in jest.
“What do you think?…The vacuum, duh!”
“Yeah, so?” He said. “What do you want me to do about it?”
Her eyelids narrowed
Into a menacing squint. The tone of her voice
Followed the lead of her gaze.
“Come and take a look at it! Fix the damn thing!!!”
She shouted!

On television there were various snippets
Of the candidate’s speeches. Like a moving theatre company
Each bureaucrat stood before a crowd
Delivering monologues composed of promises to change America
For the better. A motley troupe traveling from town to town
Substituting handshakes for bows.

“Alright…coming dear…” He replied.

Jim laid the vacuum on its side
Lodged his fingers between the vacuum’s brushes,
Reached towards the filter. He felt the
Roughness of bristles covered in dust.
When he removed his fingers
Streaks of lint coated them. He stood up
And thought…
‘Maybe if I remove the bag I can reach the obstruction that way.’
He followed this idea,
However his fingers were still coated in lint,
Thus creating a perilous grip on the bag
As it slipped from his grasp
He grunted in anger while a boom of dust
Erupted into the air
Like a mushroom cloud.

“I GIVE UP!” He proclaimed.
Walked back towards the television and took a seat on the couch.

“Sooo…welllll…” Martha inquired. “What should I do then?”

The favored
Appeared on screen
With a smile wider than an elephant’s asshole

“I don’t know.” He said. “Buy a new one.”

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