Candide Revisited


Candice pressed the shotgun into Jeff’s belly; his blubber overlapped the tip of the barrel engulfing it like a heavy head nuzzling into a soft pillow.
“Whoa. I meant no aggression what’s with the animosity?”
“You’re always bothering…bothering me at my moments of peace.”
“What do you mean…?”
“What do I mean!”
She pointed at her garden; soil compressed underneath her fingernails defined her pink fingers with a dirty strength mirroring her annoyance.
“Here I am tending to my garden. FINALLY achieving a break from the constant barrage of stress that complicates my day and then you come along…strolling out your front door, rambling about your day. I mean can’t you tell by my short answers that I want to be left alone?”
“I just thought you wanted some company. You’re always alone. I thought I was doing you a favor. Being friendly.”
She rolled her eyes, cracks of red radiated across the sclera of each optic.
“That’s the problem. We think that because someone is alone they must be miserable. WELL GUESS WHAT?”
“The only misery I experience is in someone’s company.”
Jeff hung his head.
“I am sorry…”
“Damn straight.”
“I guess I’ll be leaving you alone from now on.”
Candice smiled.
“That’s the best news I heard all day.”
She then dropped the weapon and stooped to finish planting her roses.

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